God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
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