if you like me you must not know who I am
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
