I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
