a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
