One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
