In the future we'll all be gay
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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