Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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