Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
