I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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