You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
