It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
