He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
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Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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