Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
