im about as happy as oj after his trial
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
