I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize