i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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