Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
