i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
