Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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