I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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