i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
