So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I want her autograph on my taint
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
