The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize