i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
