I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize