it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
