cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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