white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
