I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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