Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
