John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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