I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
