all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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