I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
