IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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