How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
