if only i could text you this smell
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
