Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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