I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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