I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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