I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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