Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize