The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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