He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize