He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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