He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are the jesus of drinking
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
