smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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