WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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