I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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