Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
