the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
