You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
