no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
