You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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