oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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